#527 - Your Worst Day

When you think you are having your worst day ever remember this - many people would love for this to be their worst day.

-Love Dad

#526 - Self pity

Self pity imprisons us in the walls of self-absorption.

-Love Dad

#525 - George Steinbrenner Quote

"Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next."

-George Steinbrenner

Former Owner, NY Yankees

#524 - Ronald Reagan Quote

"Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of fee men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have."

-Ronald Reagan Former President

#523 - Compliment Her

Compliment your lady in front of others next time. It has way more impact than just complimenting her in private.

excerpt from: the art of manliness.com

#522 - John Wooden Quote

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

-John Wooden
Former Caoch, UCLA Bruins

#521 - 5 Things To Consider When Buying A Grill

5 Things To Consider When Buying A Grill

Narrow down your grill selection with these five features to consider.

In the market for a new gas grill? These days, walking into the grill section of your local hardware store is like walking into a car dealership. With so many models, brands and features to choose from, it's hard to know where to begin. So whether you want to cook a simple steak or an elaborate seared tuna, there is a grill out there for you. We went to Home Depot's grilling expert, Ken D'Anastasio, who gave us five points to consider when grill shopping.

1. Price: Grills range from $149 to $1500, so it really depends on your budget. If you're buying a gas grill, keep in mind the propane tank is rarely included anymore, so you'll need to add on approximately $20 to the price.

2. Size: What food do you like to grill and how many people do you generally cook for? If you entertain often and cook 25 burgers at a time, you'll need a larger surface area than if you use the grill to cook occasionally for yourself. Additionally, consider the amount of space you have at home for the grill.

3. Material: Grills come in an array of materials: Most are cast aluminum, stainless or cast-iron. While stainless steel is the most expensive, cast-aluminum does not rust, so this may be a better option if you live in a high-moisture area.
For those who want stainless steel, keep in mind there are different grades:
- 203 Stainless Steel – Highest quality, you'll find this in Viking grills
- 304 Stainless Steel – Grade used in most Weber grills
- 430 and above – somewhat questionable

4. Grates: Under extreme heat, the material of many grates can chip off onto your food, so it's important to make sure the grates are durable. Heavy, cast iron grates are best because they hold a lot of heat and distribute it evenly. Plain iron grates require more maintenance than coated grates, so D'Anasastio suggests matte finished porcelain-coated grates, which he says won't chip and don't get as grimy.

5. Features: Many grills these days come loaded with all kinds of fancy features. These include:
- Side Burners: Allows you to cook complementary dishes
- Sear Burners: For those who like rotisserie cooking
- Smokers
- Infrared Technology: Employs convection cooking, using less gas and keeping the meat juicier
- Baffle System: Prevents food from falling onto the burners, helping to keep your grill clean

"Over 80 percent of customers will buy grills with all the extras, and never use them," D'Anastasio warns. He suggests considering what you'll use your grill for before you make the purchase to avoid spending more money than necessary.

excerpt from: fncimag.com

#520 - How to Prepare for a Big Date

How to Prepare for a Big Date

Knowing how to prepare for a big date can make things go smoother. The temptation is generally to do too much, spend too much time thinking everything through, and generally psyche yourself out. Luckily, there are a few simple steps that can help you stay calm and be sure everything goes smoothly.

1. Be on time. The general rule is don’t show up late, but if you're picking your date up, you don’t be early either. Showing up at her home ten minutes early can be inconsiderate. Chances are she’ll still be getting ready and will have to worry about what to do with you until she’s ready to leave. Not a good way to start. Need to stall a little? Clean out the front seat of your car.
2. Groom. Even if you're usually a pretty clean guy, now is the time to take the extra shower, spend some extra time shaving, and use the cologne. The way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach, but the way to a woman’s is often through her nose.
3. Skim the news. Taking a quick look at some of the top articles in online newspapers and magazines can help give you a back-up supply of conversation starters in case things stall. Stick with interesting things you read in the style, health, science, and entertainment sections. You don't want to use this time to debate about foreign policy.
4. Keep calm. Preparing for a big date only makes it stressful for you both. Don't feel as though you have to plan every detail or stress about things going well. Think of it as just a chance to spend time with each other, keep plans simple, and don’t stress if things don’t go perfectly. If you're relaxed, being yourself, and having a good time, chances are she'll feel the same way.

By: Caroline Sadowska

Break Studios Contributing Writer


excerpt from: mademan.com

#519 - Balding Gracefully: Tips and Hairstyles for Balding Men

Balding Gracefully: Tips and Hairstyles for Balding Men

You’re noticing more hair in your sink and in your shower. But for awhile you ignore it. Then one day you’re staring at your ugly mug in the mirror, and there’s simply no denying it anymore. You’re starting to go bald.
No one’s ever referred to men’s hair as our “crowning glory” but hair loss can still be a big psychological blow to men. For many men, it’s likely the first sign they’re getting old. Baldness is a subtle reminder that one’s youthful glory days are slowly slipping away. And it can make a man feel less confident and attractive.
Feeling blindsided by their traitorous scalp and missing their old hair, some men can get stuck in different stages of the grieving process, unable to move on to acceptance. They start wearing a ball cap or a beanie wherever they go. And they stubbornly stick with the hairstyle they rocked when they were 20, even though it’s now making their thinning hair look even worse than it has to. They don’t know how to go bald gracefully.
Because hair loss is something that affects over 40 million men in the U.S. and hundreds of million more worldwide, I thought it would be good to offer the follicley-challenged out there some help on how to deal with baldness like a man. For advice, I talked to master barber Tony England from Red's Classic Barbershop Co. in Nashville, TN. Tony has seen plenty of men with hair loss come through his shop, and he himself is a distinguished balding man, so he knows what you’re going through. Here are his tips on balding gracefully.
Find Out the Cause
When a client comes in who’s noticed he’s starting to go bald, Tony tries to find out what’s causing the customer’s hair loss. “In many cases, hair loss isn’t caused by heredity, and steps can be taken to stop hair loss,” Tony explains. He’ll ask his client if they’ve been under a lot of stress lately. If so, he recommends that they get a massage and chill the heck out. Stress can be a big time cause for hair loss in men.
If his client is calmer than the Dali Lama, then Tony asks if they’re taking any medicines, as some medications come with the unfortunate side effect of hair loss. Once they stop taking the medication, the hair comes back. Of course, stopping or switching medication just so you don’t go bald might not be an option for most men. Check with your doctor if you are experiencing hair loss to see if a) the medication might be causing your balding and 2) if there’s an alternative you can take that doesn’t thin your hair.
Another possible cause of balding is calcium deposits on your scalp. “Calcium deposits shut the pores on your head which prevents hair from coming through the scalp,” says Tony. To clear up these calcium deposits, Tony suggests shampooing your head with hot vinegar, wrapping a hot towel around your head, and letting it sit for a few minutes. Shampoo normally right afterward, unless you want to smell like you stuck your head in the pickled egg jar at your local bar.
If you’re not stressed, taking medications, or have calcium deposits, you’re probably like millions of other men who have inherited their receding hairline from the men in their family. There’s a lot of old wives tales out there about which side of the family passes on the genes for baldness. You’ve likely heard someone say that if your mother’s father or grandfather was bald, then you’re destined to be bald as well.
But if you thought you were free and clear from inheriting your father’s bald head because your mom’s dad has a thick lush mane at 95, I’m sorry to break it to you, you’re not. Some recent studies have identified a gene that shows men are more at risk for hair loss if their father is bald. But you can also inherit this gene from your mom’s side of the family. So basically if you have any bald eagles roosting on your family tree, there’s a chance you’ll go bald, too.

Fighting Nature’s Course

So genetics has dealt you the bald card. What do you do? Well, if going bald really bothers you, you can always try to fight Mother Nature using a few techniques.

• Rogaine. Rogaine is a topical medication you put on your head that promotes hair growth and keeps the hair you do have left from falling out. You can buy it over the counter at most drug stores. The biggest drawback is that once you stop using Rogaine on a regular basis, your hair loss will resume once more. Thus, you’re pretty much signing over your scalp to Bossman Rogaine for the duration of your natural life. Rogaine isn’t cheap, either. That means you’ll have to invest a small fortune just so you can keep your hair. “You have to ask yourself if the daily regimen and expense is worth it,” Tony advises.
• Hair transplants. Another option is Hair Club for Men. You probably remember the old commercials where the guy proclaims, “I’m not only the Hair Club president, I’m also a client,” followed by a parade of before-and-after pictures of bald men who magically grew their hair back. The “magic” behind Hair Club for Men is hair transplants. A doctor will relocate bald resistant hair follicles from the back of your head to the balding areas on the top of your head. Because the hair follicles on the back of your head are resistant to hair loss, in theory you’ll never have to worry about balding again. But be careful with transplants. They’ve come a long way from the hideous and conspicuous hair plugs of the 80s. But even now, if they’re done poorly, your results will look unnatural. Moreover, hair transplants are expensive. Really expensive. You’re charged by the graft. Many hair transplant procedures require 600-1,000 grafts. A conservative cost per graph is $6. So do the math, and you’re looking at about $6,000 for the procedures. That’s quite a rich head of hair.
• Toupee. Toupee wearing men have been the butt of many a joke. With good reason. Most wigs are poorly crafted and poorly fitted. Result? You look like Uncle Louis from Christmas Vacation. But, according to Tony, a toupee can actually look completely natural if you spend enough money to get the best of the best. “You’d be surprised how many male celebrities wear wigs.” Tony notes.

Accepting and Embracing Your Baldness

Tony thinks, and I definitely agree, that the best option is for a man to accept the fact that he’s balding and simply embrace it. It’s cheaper and involves less work than the above options. No need for snake oil cures and tearing up pieces of your scalp like layers of turf. When you start noticing your hairline recede, just remember that millions of men go bald and still have successful careers, attract the ladies (many women actually prefer bald men), and generally have kick ass lives. Your worth as a man isn’t tied up with how much hair you have on your head. If you don’t make a big deal out of your hair, no one else will either.

Hairstyles for Balding Men

You’ve decided to accept your hair loss and revel in it. Congratulations. You’ve got moxie, my friend. But how should you style your hair now that you have less of it? Here’s what our friend Tony the Barber suggests.
The General Rule. Keep your hair short. According to Tony, short hair minimizes the appearance of balding and also gives your hair some lift which makes it look like you have more hair. Some guys don’t believe this and try to hold onto to their old styles. But if you’ve ever seen a guy with a big curly fro and a bald spot at his crown, you’ve seen how longer hair simply makes bald spots more conspicuous. So go short.
With this general rule, you can rock several hairstyles with confidence.

Clean shaven. The completely bald look is a great option for men who have very large bald spots that cover a good portion of their heads. The clean shaven look has a host of benefits. For starters, you free yourself from the tyranny of ever having to style your hair again. And you can wash your chrome dome with the same bar of soap you use on your body. On top of that, shaving your head definitely makes a statement. It shows the world you’ve accepted your hair loss and decided, “The hell with it! I am who I am.” Finally, a clean shaven head can become your signature look, one that makes you unforgettable to the people you meet. Everyone remembers the guy with the completely bald head: Seth Godin . Jesse Ventura. Patrick Stewart. Mr. Clean. You get the idea.

Buzz cut. If the clean shaven look is too severe or you don’t feel like you’re someone who could pull it off, but you still want something simple and sleek, the buzz cut is a great option. The buzz cut is an especially good way to go if your hair is starting to thin on your crown or near your hairline. The buzz cut gives you a clean, yet edgy look that will make the ladies swoon and will prevent some dude from pulling your hair when you attend your next Fight Club meeting.

Short Caesar Cut. Inspired by Roman Emperor Julius Caesar and made famous by George Clooney, the Caesar cut is a stylish way to conceal a receding hairline and a thinning top. The bangs are cut with a horizontal fringe and styled forward.

Shaggy layers. If you’re just starting to thin, but aren’t ready to go super short, compromise with some light, shaggy layers. Ask your barber to cut the top of your hair in uneven layers. When you’re styling it, just kind of of tussle your hair around. It will give you a sort of endearing disheveled look that hides your thinning hair.

The Roger Sterling. Want to get that dapper "Mad Men" look ? Try the hairstyle of Roger Sterling. It’s a great do’ for men who have a receding hairline, but still have some hair on top. Get it cut short on the top, but leave it long enough so that you can comb a part on the side of your head. Sides are tight. Make sure the barber tapers the sides so they blend in nicely with the top.

The Power Donut. Instead of keeping your remaining hair close to your head, you can just say, “screw it,” and let it grow out au naturel. GQ calls this ring of hair the "Power Donut” What’s nice about the Power Donut is that it doesn’t require much work except for an occasional trim so you avoid growing a skullet. Sean Connery, Gerald Ford, and Larry David are examples of men who rock the Power Donut. There’s something admirable about a man who doesn’t worry about adjusting his hairstyle just because he’s balding and hasn’t jumped on the buzz cut bandwagon. He just keeps doing the same hair routine he’s been doing his entire life, except he doesn’t have to spend as much time on top. Just let nature run its course and spend time worrying about other stuff.

Grow facial hair. A lot of celebrities with thinning hair rock some sort of facial hair. The facial hair directs attention from your balding head to your face. Mustaches and goatees work best. However, if you’re Kimbo Slice, then a full, “I’m going to eat you liver” beard is in order.

Never under any circumstances should you attempt the comb-over. No matter what style you go with, never, ever use a comb-over. Oh, and for the love of Pete, do not fall under the delusion that having a ponytail in the back will compensate for baldness on top. Hair math just doesn’t work that way.
If you’re not sure which way to go, just ask your barber for some advice the next time you’re in for a haircut. There’s no need to be embarrassed to talk to him about it. Think of your barber like your doctor, he’s seen this stuff a thousand times before.
Many thanks to Tony at Red's Classic Barbershop for his help with this post. If you’re in the Nashville area, check them out. Red’s is a classic, manly establishment where you can get great haircuts, shoeshines, and good old fashioned hot lather shaves.

excerpt from: The Art of Manliness

#518 - Supporting Roles

Its natural for you to always want to be where the action is, but if you are assigned a supporting role, carry it out to the best of your ability. Butting in and drawing attention to yourself will not only keep you from doing your job, it will divert others from doing theirs.

excerpt from: Cigars, Whiskey, and Winning Leadership Lessons from General Ulysses S. Grant

#517 - How to Juggle Three Balls

How to Juggle Three Balls

An ancient performance art, juggling dates back four thousand years, with the first recorded evidence of juggling depicted by Egyptian tomb hieroglyphics. Always a pleasure to watch, juggling often appears so easy. Yet, as a beginner, it's all falling balls and less juggling. Nevertheless, with a little direction, and a lot of practice, you could be a great three ball juggler - just follow the steps outlined here to get started in the cascade method.

Find ideal balls. A good choice is to find balls that are not too light and not too big (or too small like marbles). If you are just starting to juggle, it is best to use small balls filled with sand. They should fit snugly in the palm of your hand.

• Try using beanbags or purpose-made juggling balls while first learning to juggle. They don't bounce or roll away when dropped, so you spend your time and energy juggling, not chasing dropped balls.
• You can make your own practice juggling balls from tennis balls or balloons.

Find a suitable place to stand. When learning to juggle, you will drop the balls and it's best that you're not anywhere near fragile objects and that you have plenty of space around you. Outdoors is ideal.

• Stand comfortably with your feet about shoulder width apart.

Start with one ball. Throw one ball from one hand to the other hand at head height, in an arc. Get used to the feel and weight of the ball. Notice that the pattern is an arc, and not a circle as you may have thought.

• A common mistake made by beginners is to throw the ball high into the air. It's important to ensure that the ball doesn't go any higher than head or eye height. Do not throw too low either, since that will force you to juggle fast, and fast isn't necessary for three balls.
• As you get better at throwing the single ball, start trying to move your arms in a gentle circular movement. This is much closer to the final movement that you will use when juggling all three balls. You are not trying to throw in a circle though, just moving your hands this way.

Move on to two balls. Put a ball in each hand.

• Throw the first ball to your left hand at head height.
• Before ball 1 reaches the left hand, release ball 2 towards your right hand and catch. Keep your hand movements open (meaning, don't close your hands over the ball after catching).

The best time to throw the second ball is when the first reaches its maximum height.

• Keep practicing this movement. Once you get this right, the remaining steps will be much easier.

Move on to three balls. Place two balls in your right hand and the other ball in your left. (If you are left-handed, change the instructions around to fit.) Only proceed with this step when you feel confident with juggling two balls.

Start with the right hand and throw ball 1 (blue) towards the left hand. Remember that the ball in the air should be at head height.

When ball 1 (blue) is about to arrive in the left hand, release ball 2 (red) from the left hand towards the right hand.

When ball 2 (red) is about to arrive in your right hand, release ball 3 (green) on its arc back to your left hand. Catch both balls.

• You might find this move to be difficult - keep trying.
• It is often helpful to roll the ball in your right hand to the front of your hand with a slight downward motion of the hand before you throw it. The outgoing ball travels just to the inside of the arc of incoming ball. You are exchanging the one in your hand for the one in the air.

Repeat the three ball juggling steps as necessary. Keep practicing until you get used to the movement, then stop catching and holding the balls at the end. Don't worry about walking forward; this is normal for beginners. With practice, you will be able to perform the 3 ball juggle with your feet planted firmly in the same spot.

• Continue juggling as long as you can.
• Increase the speed with practice. Try to make the balls look as though they are in continual motion.
• Be aware that what makes the three ball juggle easier is that there is never more than one ball in the hand at any one time.
• Keep practicing. Juggling only improves with practice and the more you try, the less and less you will drop the balls, and the faster you will become.

excerpt from: wikihow.com

#516 - 13 Things a Man Should Keep in His Car

13 Things a Man Should Keep in His Car

1. Fully charged cell phone. Cell phones have significantly cut down on your chances of being stranded on the side of the road, but don’t count on it as your only line of defense. I’ve been in plenty of rural areas where my cell phone was only worthwhile for playing pong. In addition to you main phone, have a backup one that you can use to call 911. Any old cell phone will do, even if it’s not activated. Cellular carriers are required by law to complete 911 calls from any cell phone. Just throw that old Nokia cell phone from 1999 into your glove compartment and keep it there.
2. Jumper cables. You walk out to your car after a long day of work, stick the key into the ignition, give it a turn, and…. click, click. Crap! You’re going to be late to your kid’s football game! You then look up and notice you left the dome light on all day. It happens to the best of us. Car batteries die, so be ready with a set of jumper cables. And even if you never suffer a dead battery, it’s always good to have a set of jumper cables so you can help a damsel (or dude) in distress who needs their car jumped.
3. Flashlight. Good for providing light at nighttime when 1) putting on a spare tire, 2) jump starting another car, or 3) exchanging insurance information with the clueless driver that rear ended you at a stop light. Get a Maglite and you can also thump would-be car jackers in the head with it.
4. Roadside flares/reflective triangle. When pulled over on the side of the road, you’re basically a sitting duck, hoping that other drivers don’t turn the situation into a clip for one of those extreme video shows. It’s especially dangerous to be hanging out on the side of the road at night. Ensure that you and those around you are visible when you pull over to the side of the road by using road flares or at least a reflective triangle. The old school flaming flares seem to be harder to find these days as people switch to LED “flares.”
5. MREs. You never know when you’ll be stranded for long periods of times in your car. If you’ve ever driven out West, you’ll know that it can be hundreds of miles until the closest source of help. Unless you’ve built up a tolerance for extended periods of fasting, keep some MREs or granola/power bars in the back of your car to munch on while you wait for the tow truck to come.
6. Warm blankets. Tom can tell you firsthand why warm blankets are a must. It got pretty dang cold in his Caprice that night. But blankets have uses that go beyond emergency situations. It’s always good to have a blanket in the car for snuggling with your gal while you cheer for your team on a cold fall night or for laying it on the ground for a picnic.
7. Ice scraper. Don’t be the chump that’s out there scrapping their windshield with a credit card at 5AM in the morning. A good ice scraper will set you back just a few bucks, and it will make clearing your windshield much easier and much faster.
8. First aid kit. Whether you’re cleaning up a head wound filled with glass shards or fixing a boo boo on your two year old, it’s good to have a first aid kit. You can always buy one, but putting together your own in an Altoids tin is more fun.
9. Water bottles. For when you’re stranded in Death Valley in the middle of the hottest heat wave on record… or for any other time your car decides to break down on you. Or, for after you’ve left a concert and you’re so dang parched!
10. Tow strap. I don’t know how many times my dad saved my butt with this thing back in high school. Towards the end of my blue ‘92 Chevy Cavalier’s (aka, “The Smurf”) life, it would just stop running and no amount of cable jumping would help get it started. For moments like these, my dad busted out the tow strap. You just attach one end of the tow strap to the front of the car that you want to pull and the other to the hitch on the back of your car. The stranded driver stays in the dead car, puts it in neutral, and steers and brakes while it gets towed to its destination.
11. Folding shovel. There are a couple of instances where a folding shovel might come in handy. The first is when you get stuck in the snow or ice. You can use the shovel to dig some snow out and place some dirt under the tire to get more traction. The second situation is when a car tire gets stuck in a hole or something. You can use the shovel to dig about and create some ramps to help get your car unstuck. Also, it can be used as an improvised weapon, Green Beret-style.
12. LifeHammer. When you’re trying to escape from a sinking car, this little piece of plastic and metal can be the difference between life and death. Use it to break your window, cut your seatbelt and make your escape.
13. Portable air compressor. My dad feels like this was the best purchase he made for the car. When your tire is leaking but hasn’t totally blown out, instead of putting on a spare, you can use a portable air compressor to get back on the road. The compressor fills your tire up enough to allow you to drive to a repair shop to get it fixed. It plugs right into your cigarette lighter. Bonus use: no more paying 75 cents to fill up your tires at stingy gas stations.
There are kits you can buy that have a lot of this stuff in them, but I personally think it’s satisfying to assemble your own cache of supplies. And you can put together a better choice of things.

excerpt from: the art of manliness

#515 - As a Gentleman Would Say

When a gentleman encounters an acquaintance who greets him with: "Hi. How are you?"...

He does not say:

"Actually, I'm having a lousy day. My car's in the shop, and I had to take the dog to the vet. What's worse I'm behind on my house payment and my girlfriend left me."

or


"What's it to you?"


But he does say:


"Fine How about you?"

In casual discourse, there are few questions that do not require an answer. This is one of them. Even on his worst days, a gentleman does not stop traffic on the sidewalk so that he can share his woes with an acquaintance who merely intended to say something a little more expansive than a simple "Hello."

excerpt from: As a Gentleman Would Say

#514 - Parking Lots

When you are walking in a parking lot and someone is backing out their car, wait. Let them back out and get on their way. Don't just keep walking like they should see you. You never know if they aren't paying attention, or if you are in their blind spot and you really don't want to wake up in an emergency room.

-Love Dad

#513 - Bob Feller Quote

"Every day is a new opportunity you can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is. With a new game every day."

-Bob Feller
Former Pitcher, Cleveland Indians

#512 - When I Grow Up

One time I smarted off to my dad saying, "When I grow up and start working, I'll buy whatever I want." His response: "You won't want as much then." He's proven correct.

excerpt from: DaveRamsey.com Violet Quote

#511 - Profanity

There really is no excuse for having a foul mouth. Even if you only occasionally resort to profanity, you still will almost certainly make some of the men and women around you uncomfortable. This in turn will cost you their respect and reduce your effectiveness. If you curse for effect, stop it; it's counter productive.

excerpt from: Cigars, Whiskey & Winning Leadership Lessons from Ulysses S. Grant

#510 - Caring

Never care more about a person than they care about themselves. You will end up drained and they will still be the same person.

excerpt from: the art of manliness

#509 - Cotton Fitzsimmons Quote

"If you're a positive person, you're an automatic motivator. You can get people to do things you don't think they're capable of."

-Cotton Fitzsimmons
Former Coach, KC Kings

#508 - Faith Is...

Faith is...Realizing what God is going to do through me will be on the basis of miracle not man power, His promise not my goodness.

excerpt from: Faith is...

#507 - John Wooden Quote

"A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment."

-John Wooden
Former Coach, UCLA Basketball

#506 - Saving

My father told us to save for the short term and long term. Short term was for things we wanted; long term was for things we needed.

excerpt from: DaveRamsey.com Shannon quote

#505 - Speak Like a Gentleman

When a gentleman speaks, he hopes to sound wise, or - at the very least - he hopes to bring a smile to someone's face. He never uses words to harm or demean another person. Even when he is silent, he can be eloquent, offering a listening ear, or shoulder for a friend to lean upon.

excerpt from: As a Gentleman Would Say

#504 - Credit

Never claim credit when none is due you.

excerpt from: Cigars, Whiskey & Winning Leadership Lessons from Ulysses S. Grant

#503 - Confessions of a Car Salesman Glossary

Confessions of a Car Salesman Glossary

Glossary to "Confessions" Car salespeople have their own vocabulary. It describes their customers, the deals they make and the day-to-day life on the lot. Here is a sampling of how they talk when the customer's not around.

Be-backs - A customer who leaves the car lot promising to return later, saying, "I'll be back," or some variation of that statement. "The guy was a be-back. But I think he meant it. I'll see him again."

Boss - The typical way that salespeople address the managers or the GM. "Hey boss! Got a deal for you!"

Bumping - Raising the customer's offer for a car. "If Mr. Customer says he only wants to pay $250 a month, just say, 'Up to -- ?' He'll probably bump himself up to $300 without you doing anything."

Closer - An experienced salesman who is brought in to "close" the customer by making them agree to a deal. "If I worked with a better closer I'd have more units on the board."

Desk - This is the sales manager, not the place he sits. "Ask the desk if these rebates are still in effect."

Demo - This is the test drive. "This guy comes in, demos the car and I think he's ready to buy, right? Then he tells me the car's for his wife and he can't make a decision without her."

F&I - This stands for the Finance and Insurance office where the documents are signed. The F&I salesperson usually will push products such as extended warranties, fabric protection and alarms. "The wait for F&I is two hours. Better stick with your customer so they don't leave."

Full pop lease - This is when a vehicle is leased at 110 percent of the sticker price - the highest amount allowed by most banks. "I got them into a full pop lease. I'll get a nice voucher for that."

GM - The General Manager. The GM is the head honcho at the dealership. He runs the business from day to day. "The guys were standing out on the curb drinking coffee so the GM called them into the tower and read them the riot act."

Green pea - A new salesperson. "The funny thing is, green peas can outsell the veterans. That's because they don't know how hard this job is."

Grinder - A customer who negotiates for hours over a small amount of money. "We were only $500 apart but the guy wouldn't sign. Man, what a grinder."

Lay down - A customer who takes whatever deal the salesperson offers. "I quoted him monthly payments of $575 and he took it! I wish all the customers were lay downs like that."

Mini - The commission on a deal where the car was sold at close to invoice price. "Sure, the deal was only a mini. But I qualified for a weekend bonus and made a grand."

Mooch - A customer who wants to buy a car at invoice. "People are spending too much time on the Internet. It's turning them into a bunch of mooches."

Packing payments - Adding extra profit to the cost of a car. "This place I used to work got busted for packing payments. Next job I get is going to be in a no-haggle store."

The Point - The place on the car lot where the "up" man stands looking for customers. "The GM saw me standing on the point with my hands in my pockets. He went ballistic and sent me home for the day."

Pounder - A deal with $1,000 profit in it. "Doctor comes in and buys the top of the line model, fully loaded - and he pays sticker! That'll be a two pounder for me."

Rip their heads off - This describes taking a customer to the cleaners. "I stole their trade in, I sold them the car at a grand over sticker - I mean, I just ripped their heads off."

Roach - A customer with bad credit. Not to be confused with the "roach coach" (see entry below). "The guy looked good. But we ran his credit and he turned out to be a roach. We're talkin' a 400 credit score here."

Roach coach - The food truck that comes around to the dealership every day. "I should've known better than to eat that chili from the roach coach. My stomach's killin' me."

Spiff - A tip, kickback or payment of any kind, usually cash which is handed between salespeople. "I spiffed the F&I guy $20 bucks and he took my customers first."

Strong - This has a special meaning on the car lot. It means holding firm on your price and being a tough negotiator. "When they ask for your price you have to be strong. Hit 'em with high payments, then scrape them off the ceiling and start negotiating." (See also "weak.")

Tower - The office where the sales managers work. This is usually a raised platform allowing the managers to see over the roofs of the cars so they can watch customers and their salespeople. "Attention: All new car salesmen report to the new car tower!"

Turn over - Also known as "turning," this is the practice of passing a customer from one salesman to another. It is thought that this will prevent customers from leaving the car lot. The theory is that the customer might just have bad chemistry with the first salesman and he might like the next salesman. "I turned this guy to my partner and he wound up buying. I'll get half of the commission on the deal."

Up - A customer that walks on the car lot. The term probably comes from the order in which customers are taken, as in: "I'm up next." Many dealerships also have an up system. "We've got ups all over the lot, and you're in the back drinking coffee?!"

Voucher - Car salespeople receive a voucher to let them know what their commission was for selling a car. They don't know until the deal is finalized exactly how much they will receive. "Check out this voucher. I thought I had a pounder. Instead it's a mini."

Weak - This describes being a weak negotiator or coming down too quickly on price. "The guy was weak so he only lasted a few months. How are you going to make money in this business if you give away cars?"

Source: Edmunds.com

#502 - Confessions of a Car Salesman Part IX

Confessions of a Car Salesman Part IX

Part 9: Lessons from the Lot

In this final installment, I'd like to sum up what I've learned, and offer a few things that can help you the next time you shop for a car. I've decided to divide this chapter into two sections: Car-Buying Concepts and Specific Recommendations. The Concepts are general thoughts underlying the car-buying process. In some cases these are simple, fundamental realizations that you might already know. But it doesn't hurt to revisit them before we move on to the Specific Recommendations.


Car-Buying Concepts
Concept 1: The Stakes Are High

This realization hit me very strongly while I was selling cars — people can lose a lot of money by making the wrong choice when buying a car. This is a serious decision for the average household budget. If you are unprepared for the encounter with the salespeople and make a poor decision you can lose money. A lot of money. How?

Well, say Joe Consumer decides it would be nice to have a new car. Without doing any research he heads on down to the car lot and hooks up with a sharp salesperson. Joe Consumer might be talked into buying a car in too high a price bracket. He could also be switched to leasing without his knowledge or consent. And he might also put down too much money. In the F&I Room he might be talked into buying protection packages, road safety kits and extended warranties.

What would these mistakes add up to? Over the course of five years (the length of some lease contracts) this could mean he pays thousands of dollars too much for that car. This might convert into hundreds of dollars too much per month. Many people are on tight budgets. Paying a hundred dollars too much could sink the ship; certainly it would produce stress and prevent a family from saving or investing their money for the other necessities of life.

The monetary loss is only part of the problem here. People become angry, humiliated and resentful once they find out they have been deceived and overcharged. And yet, once they sign the contract, it is difficult — if not impossible — to unwind the deal.

I should add that there are many good dealers who wouldn't cheat or overcharge even a naive customer. But, sadly, there are enough unscrupulous dealers out there to make caution and suspicion necessary. I know that many of the salespeople I worked with would take an extra thousand dollars profit without a thought, then laughingly brag about it to the other salespeople. The management of the dealership rewarded this kind of profit taking and called it superior salesmanship.

Concept 2: Self Defense is Simple

OK, that's the bad news. The good news is that it's not that hard to protect yourself from severe economic loss. By doing even an hour's worth of research, by keeping in mind several simple concepts, the average person can be reasonably sure they won't be swindled. By doing an additional hour's research, they can get a pretty good deal. It's not that hard. In fact, some people find that they like the process once they learn how to handle it.

Knowledge is power. That's almost a cliche. But it holds this simple truth: if you know the numbers of the deal it will be hard for the salespeople to overcharge you. It's like going to a store and seeing a nice lamp for $30. Then you go to a second store and see the exact same lamp for $50. Now a salesperson approaches you and tries to talk you into buying their lamp at the higher price. Will you do it? Probably not, because you know the exact same lamp is sitting on the other shelf for $20 less. What can the salesman say to you to convince you that their higher price is justified?

Now let's extend this concept to car buying. If you wander onto a car lot without knowing how much the cars should cost, you have no frame of reference. As your reasoning power is reduced by a combination of breathing new car smell and test driving the car, you will begin to believe the car salesperson when he tells you the car is going to cost a lot but it will be worth it. Remember, the salesperson wants you to be excited about the car because then the rational side of your brain will become disabled. Just ask yourself this: if you buy today, how will you feel when you wake up the next morning? Is this a decision you can live with?

What car buying numbers do you need to know? Find out how much the dealer paid for the car you want to buy. Find out what cars like that are actually selling for. Find out what your trade-in is worth (if you want to trade it in to a dealer). And finally, if you decide to finance the car, find out what your monthly payment should be by shopping for a car loan before going to the dealership.

Concept 3: Profit Equals Commission

I never really thought of this until I sold cars but... Car salespeople earn their living by inflating the price of the car you are buying. The more they inflate the price, the bigger their commission. This might seem very obvious, but we tend to lose sight of it when the smiling salesperson greets us on the car lot. They make us think they have our best interests in mind. The good salespeople do have our interests in mind. The unscrupulous salespeople are thinking how your purchase increases their commission.

One of the dealerships I worked at had a sliding scale for commissions. The higher the profit, the higher the commission. Naturally, the salespeople tried to hit that point where the commission was bumped to the higher percentage. That might mean moving you into a higher level vehicle. It might mean increasing the profit by financing sleight of hand. In both cases, this smiling salesperson, with the personable air, didn't have your best interests in mind.

I believe in paying a dealer a profit for his car. I also believe in rewarding the salesperson for their expert help. But I don't think this justifies making an unfair profit at my expense.
Car-Buying Recommendations
Now we come to the nuts and bolts of getting a good car at a fair price. This isn't a tutorial, since we have this information already posted on the Edmunds.com Web site. Instead, these are guiding principles to help you navigate the choppy waters of car buying. These are rules I saw being broken all the time by the shoppers that turned up on the car lots where I worked.

1. Use the Internet. The Internet is an amazing tool for car shopping. It levels the playing field by giving accurate information to the consumer. It takes the anxiety out of negotiating. It forces dealers to slice profit because they must beg for your business. It allows consumers to comparison shop loans and leases, as well as extended warranties and insurance. It gives the consumer power. Use Edmunds.com to conduct research and our PowerShopper tool to solicit bids. Once you enter the information about the car you are looking for into the PowerShopper interface, the dealers will come to you.

It's likely that you will have to visit a car lot at some point in the car buying process (for the test drive, for example). The following recommendations are general tips that will help you if you insist on face-to-face negotiations with car salespeople when buying a new vehicle.

2. Don't be in a hurry. This is a tough one because many people live busy lives with tight schedules. Their car breaks down and they have to do something about it this weekend, or on their day off, or at night. They might be overwhelmed by the problem and just throw themselves at the mercy of the car salesperson. Big mistake.

First, if your current car is on its last legs, consider sinking a little money into repairs so you don't have to make a panicked move at the car dealership. Yes, it's tempting to think of getting a new car and leaving the old heap behind. But caving in to this kind of impulse will cost you money.

If you can't fix up your old car, rent a car for a week. And make sure you rent the kind of car you are thinking of buying. There is no better way to test drive a car than to live with it for several days, using it for your daily commute or your typical errands. I guarantee you will learn something significant about the car that will help you make your final decision.

3. Walk away from any deal/salesperson you don't like. If you aren't committed to this rule you will lose money. Car salespeople know that if you leave the car lot to "think it over" you might decide not to buy their car. So they pressure you to "buy today." This isn't good for you. It means you might buy the wrong car. It means you might agree to financing that doesn't fit your budget. It means you will probably pay too much.

If you have serious misgivings about the deal you are making, walk away. Similarly, walk away from any salesperson who seems too aggressive, overbearing, bullying, evasive or unreliable. There are plenty of good salespeople out there. Find one. And deal with that person until you have the car you want, at the best price with the right financing for you.

4. Know the numbers. Yes, we already covered this under the heading of general concepts. Now let's look at it in a little more detail.

When you visit a dealership, and go into the sales room, the salesman will reach for a 4-square worksheet. They do this to keep track of the numbers in the deal that will affect their profit. Don't you think that if the pros do this, you should do the same thing to protect your money? If you don't, how else will you know what to pay for the car? What to take for the trade-in? What your monthly payment should be?

Using Edmunds.com, find out what the invoice, sticker and Edmunds.com True Market Value^® (TMV) prices are for the car you want to buy. TMV^® is a new concept developed by Edmunds.com. It's a guide that provides you updated weekly pricing on what you should pay for a vehicle — without having to spend hours negotiating with a dealer.

Write these prices down. Then find the approximate price of your trade-in. Then figure out how much money you will have to borrow and how much your monthly payment should be. Consider the difference between paying cash, leasing and financing. Make sure you also find out about holdbacks, rebates and incentives.

Is your head swimming with numbers now? That's pretty normal (unless you're some kind of math whiz). That's why you should write all this down. Then, with the numbers in front of you, get out your calculator and crunch them. When they have been put through the wringer, you will get one gleaming, shiny number which represents what you should pay for the vehicle you want to buy. With that number in mind, set a range. Start low and increase your offer in small increments until they say the magic words, "We've got a deal."

5. Shop around. Say for a second you didn't know any of the numbers. Say you were in a jam and had one morning to get a new car. You could probably get a good deal by shopping around. You can do this in person or on the phone — or even with e-mail.

What you do is this. Contact dealer number one. Tell the salesperson, "I'm ready to buy today but I want your best price on the car." When the salesperson gives you his best price, write it down. Or, if you are doing this in person, have him write it on the back of their business card.

Now contact dealer number two and do the same thing. Only, tell them you have already been to dealer number one and you got such and such price. Then, repeat the mantra: "I'm ready to buy today. But I want your best price." Naturally, they will try to undercut the first guy's offer.

Now contact dealer number three and do the same thing. By now you should have three offers. If you want, you can even go back to the first guy and see if he will whittle a few more bucks off his offer. If not, can the dealer throw in something else to make their offer more attractive?

The beauty of this is that the market will define itself in a short period of time. And when you're done, you will be confident that you got the best price possible. Incidentally, dealers hate it when you shop their offer. They hate it because it can get you a very good price.

6. The deal's not done until you drive off in your new car. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but you should be on guard throughout the entire car buying process. The biggest place that people err is when they have struck a deal with the salesperson. They breathe a sigh of relief and think the dealing is done. But the buyer needs to stay alert for the F&I process. Extra charges can appear in the contract. There may be a problem with the condition of the car. All these things can be addressed if you have the right attitude. If anything crops up during the F&I process that doesn't jibe with your numbers you can still walk away from the deal.

7. Always remember that it's your money. Car salespeople are good at making us feel obligated to buy from them. They serve us sodas in the sales room. They run to get the keys for the test drive. They brave their bosses wrath with our lowball offer. So, when it comes time to make a decision we're tempted to think we owe it to the salesperson to buy from them. Yes, we certainly do owe them our business — if the deal is fair. Don't do it just for the salesperson. Do it when the numbers make sense. After all, you may be signing a contract you will have to honor each month with your hard-earned money. How will you feel about it as the years roll by and the car begins to show its age. Thinking about that can be like a bucket of ice-cold water in the face.

Final Thoughts
The world of car buying is changing rapidly. Buyers are more informed. Dealers are more sensitive to their customers' satisfaction. But, like in many industries, the old ways die hard. So it is still important to be informed and to make a good decision when shopping for a car for yourself and your family.

Of all the advice I've offered, I'd just like to stress that it's important to remember that buying a car should benefit both you and the dealer. While I have focused on deflecting the sales techniques in the dealership, I don't recommend becoming overly defensive. If you deal fairly with the car salesperson, and you get the same in return, the transaction can be enjoyable — even exciting. It really should be. So, I wish all of you a great shopping experience and many years of driving pleasure in your new car.

Source: Edmunds.com

#501 - Confessions of a Car Salesman Part VIII

Confessions of a Car Salesman Part VIII

Part 8: Parting Shots It was the last day of my career as a car salesman. I was working the evening shift at the no-haggle dealership, on a day in the middle of the week. A typical day. A slow day. I made my sales calls in the "business development center," trying to set up sales appointments I knew I would never keep. My heart wasn't in it and, not surprisingly, I couldn't convince anyone to sell me her "quality used car" for "above market value."

I sat at my desk in the showroom hoping for some diversion to pass the time. I had done that a lot as a car salesman. And on this day, sure enough, something happened to kill a few minutes. It involved a salesman I'd gotten to be friends with, a guy named Craig. He had recently moved from Montana and true to his roots he looked like the Marlboro man — rugged features and a thick graying mustache. Unfortunately, Craig also had bad teeth and was a foot shorter than what I imagined the Marlboro man to be.

Early on, I had been told a good salesman "walks the lot" every day to check on inventory. Craig did this religiously and memorized the location of every car on the lot. If you were in the middle of a sale, and the customer decided he wanted a white coupe instead of a black four-door, you had only to call over to Craig and he would instantly give you the location of the car that would seal the deal. I later realized Craig had another reason for walking the lot. He had a bottle hidden out there somewhere. He'd always return from the lot a touch more animated, a glow in his face.

On one return trip from walking the lot, he went to sit at his desk and missed the center of his chair seat. The chair was on wheels and began sliding backward as he continued downward. Despite his heroic efforts — clawing for handholds on a nearby potted plant — down he went. And all this happened right in front of the boss's office window.

There was silence in the showroom for a few seconds, then high-pitched squeaks of laughter from a saleswoman, named Allie. Her laughter continued until it infected the rest of us. We stumbled outside to recover ourselves and, as Allie lit up a cigarette, she began regaling us with stories of other mishaps involving the parade of salesmen and women who had worked there during her tenure. I felt odd as she talked about past co-workers since I knew I would soon be joining their ranks, disappearing into the anonymous job market.

Allie told us how she had helped a friend named Mark get a job as a salesman there because, "He was an even bigger klutz than me." One day he took a customer's driver's license into the showroom to photocopy before going on a test drive. Turning back to the customer, he walked right through a plate glass door, saying, "Here you go," and handing back the license as if nothing had happened. As he turned away, Allie saw blood spurting from his knee where an artery had been severed. They wrestled him into the break room and a mechanic in the service bay, who had been a medic in Vietnam, staunched the bleeding. They rushed back outside to tend to the customer and discovered he had a long shard of glass protruding from his foot.

Another time, Mark went outside to "lock and block" and never returned. Lock and block is a nightly ritual where the sales staff makes sure all the car doors are locked and the entrance is blocked by parked cars. In this case, the salesman had pulled on a chain link gate to see if it was locked but succeeded in pulling it down on top of himself, pinning him to the ground. When they lifted the gate off him, he had a waffle pattern on his face from the chain link fence.

As we talked, the afternoon turned to night and a chilly wind came up. Allie went inside to make more sales calls and Craig drifted away to do a thorough check of our inventory. I leaned against a car and watched the traffic passing in the street. From where I stood I could see the guys across the street at the Dodge dealership drinking coffee and smoking. It was slow over there too. I began thinking back on my experiences, summarizing what I had learned from my three months as a car salesman.

Of course, I absorbed a lot I couldn't easily describe, bits and pieces of information I knew would come back while I was at Edmunds.com. But how had my view of the big picture changed?

I know for sure I'll never look at car salesmen and women in the same way. I used to hate and fear them, to lump them all in the same category with sweeping generalizations. Now, I had some insight into the waters they swam in. I sympathized with them, I pitied them, and — in some cases — I admired them.

I saw that many car salesmen and women, like myself, were just moving through the dealership experience, on their way from one point in their lives to another. Most of them didn't have college degrees and were trapped in lives that they thought offered few chances for advancement. The car business offered them a way to use a lot of hustle and little book learning to make money. I admired anyone who was trying to improve his (or her) life, particularly through hard work. But making big bucks in the car business wasn't the slam-dunk it was made out to be.

Previously, I had known car salesmen from the outside, as I encountered them while buying a car. Now I had worked alongside them. I had been rejected by customers and bullied by sales managers. I had been excited by a big sale and disappointed when a sure thing fell apart. I saw the same dream they saw: big commissions from easy sales. All you had to do, as my assistant sales manager Michael told me, was get "right in the head."

In the Friday morning sales meetings at my first dealership the managers tried to psyche us up by saying that we could make more money as a car salesman than a doctor. True, some of the successful salesmen made a lot of dough. But the vast majority of car salesmen were eking out a living, thinking that some day, somehow, their luck would change and the money would begin rolling in.

So, you think I'm romanticizing car salesmen? Trying to clean them up and excuse their evil ways? And, you might ask, if the salesmen aren't the bad guys, who is?

Having been a salesman myself, I began to view the managers and dealership owners as the real culprits. While salesmen play people games with the customer, the guys in the tower work the numbers with computers, their eyes fixed on the bottom line. They can see at a glance what kind of profit they are taking from the customer and they do it any way. Furthermore, they bully the sales staff, encouraging them to manipulate, control and intimidate customers while they take the lion's share of the profit.

Sometimes, the profit a salesman generates is not even pocketed by them. One salesman told me the F&I people can work their magic to rob a salesman of his commission. They move front-end profit to the back end where it evaporates from the salesman's voucher and returns, over the years, to the dealer in the form of high interest and steady payouts. I experienced a little taste of this myself. I leased an SUV to a single mother and at sticker price expected a nice commission. But on payday I cashed a $65 check. No explanation. No hint of where my commission had gone.

The management pushes the salesman out the door, lets him meet and greet the customer, then takes the profit. Not only that, but the management also blames the salesman when something goes wrong. I saw this quite clearly when the TV news team did its hidden camera investigation of the dealership (more on this in Part 6). A salesman was made out to be the bad guy. When the camera was turned on the dealership owner he disavowed knowledge of what was happening in his business and promised a complete review of their practices. This, despite the fact that at Friday sales meetings, the owner was cheering the boys on to get more deals at a higher profit.

Profit.

By itself profit is a positive word. But in the car business, the dealership's profit is the consumer's loss. I'm not suggesting that the dealership be run without a profit, but in one case I heard about, the dealership made a 16 percent profit on a $25,000 car. That meant the consumer, the average Joe buying the car, paid about $4,000 too much.

While working as a car salesman I became impressed with the damage a bad car deal can do to the budget of an ordinary person. In one case, I participated in leasing a car to a couple at well over its value. I was haunted by the thought that this nice ordinary couple had trusted me, and I had let them sign a contract that would bind them for five years to a high-interest lease. I consoled myself thinking perhaps another dealer would have inflicted greater damage.

How did the car business get so screwed up? There's nothing else in our society that is sold with the consumer so conspicuously unprepared.

During the sales seminar I took, the instructor attempted to tackle the "Why is it this way?" question. He said that just after World War II there were a lot of people who wanted to buy cars, and there were a lot of people who had money, but there weren't enough cars to go around. So the car salesman didn't really have to "sell." Their job was merely to qualify customers, to find out who was really going to "buy today," so they could move on to the next customer. This set the tone for the business and it is still that way today.

Source: Edmunds.com